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From:
rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Date:
Fri, 22 Jun 2001 12:10:44 -0700
Subject:
RDT Right Now #1337
To:
rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Do not hit reply to unsubscribe. To unsub, send a message to:
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with "unsubscribe" in the subject and body.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Really Deep Thoughts Right Now Volume 01 : Issue #1337
.
o - O - O - O - O - O - O - O - o
. o o .
o o
O "Thoughts right now... O
o What will become of me, o
o Become of her, become of we?" o
. o o .
O O
O - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - O
o .
o
o
o
Tori Amos, "Thoughts"
In this issue:
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
no one trick pony here [ OMBO@aol.com ]
Several thoughts away [ "Succubus Barbie" <delirium1479@hot ]
all things pink and fuzzy. [ BaBy AnGeL <arielha@juno.com> ]
I get a little warm in my heart... [ "Lavenda" <earth@comcen.com.au> ]
Farewell Arevalo, Juan E. (UMC-Stude [ "Kevin Roscoe" <krmalkavian@hotmail ]
I<heart>A?? [ "Doug Smeath" <heyjupiter1@hotmail. ]
kill, kill all the criminals [ "Doug Smeath" <heyjupiter1@hotmail. ]
ot: new neil gaiman. [ "heidi maier" <maier@joynet.com.au> ]
Delurking at last [ Swirlgirl@att.net ]
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Really Deep Quote:
none today
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Missed a digest? Pick up a copy at the RDTRN archives:
http://www.torithoughts.org/rdtrn/archives
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Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 11:35:18 EDT
From: OMBO@aol.com
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Subject: no one trick pony here
Here's where I prove I can gas on about things other than capital punishment.
:-) Lora:
<< I was wondering the other day (I wonder about weird things). If
prostitution
is illegal how come porn isn't? And isn't Britney Spears, for example, a
prositute? She uses her body and sex appeal to sell her albums so isn't she
really just prostituting herself? And yet what she does is perfectly legal.
Does that make sense to anybody? >>
1) Neither prostitution nor porn should be illegal, IMO. Since both of them
are commerce, they should be regulated, but since both of them are also sex,
they should not be against the law if they take place between consenting
adults. As to why things are the way they are, I don't know - I think that's
just how things have worked out. Certainly, there have been attempts to ban
porn by classifying it as prostitution, but fortunately, those attempts
haven't seemed to stick for the most part.
2) Since a prostitute, by definition, is someone who has sex for money, and
Britney Spears doesn't do that, she isn't a prostitute. I suppose one could
call her that in a rhetorical sense, but that bugs me for two reasons. First,
I have friends who are *real* prostitutes, and they're good people, and it
offends me to see someone called a "prostitute" as a rhetorical insult.
Second, I think folks are a bit hard on Britney in general. I don't care for
her music, and I definitely consider her more of an entertainer than a
musician, but there's nothing wrong with entertainers. Not everyone can be
Tori! (And remember, some people have taken Tori to task for being "too
sexual", whatever the hell that means.) Besides, Britney seems like a sweet
kid, and I don't begrudge her her success.
Keith:
<< I am the child of a divorce and have seen two of my close friends go
through
hell due to adulterous wives , why shouldn't they be marked for the world to
see,that they are incapable of being faithful and once again honoring their
vows? >>
Because not everything that's wrong should be illegal. I don't think the
government should get involved in adultery, because that opens up a bad can
of worms. A law against adultery could easily be used against couples that
happen to be nonmonogamous. (Adultery IMO is wrong not because of the sex,
but because of the lie. And even then, as is often the case in situations
involving human relationships, it's not that simple.)
Bethey:
<< I believe the "gangsta rap" created a criminal
element not present in some places, because kids in the quiet places needed
to emulate someone or something. I believe society's tolerance of violence
in every type of media is responsible for the "bullied" going to school and
retaliate in violent ways. >>
Let me start by saying that I think that if someone is offended by violence
or anything else in the media, they should speak out strongly against it.
While I reject censorship pretty much absolutely, I do believe that part of
putting expression out in the mix is inviting people to comment on that
expression.
That being said, I think a much bigger problem than "gangsta rap" or whatever
is the way people in this society are trained to emulate celebrities or
images in the media. If someone's value system is warped by listening to
Eminem or whatever, it seems to me that their value system wasn't very strong
to begin with. That, IMO, is what we should be working on, not telling
artists to clean up their act. Again, I can use Tori as an example: I'm sure
that someone, somewhere thinks she's a bad influence on "the children".
Steve the Sweet Fat Man
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Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 22:21:00 -0000
From: "Succubus Barbie" <delirium1479@hotmail.com>
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Subject: Several thoughts away
Hola, mes amies.
Lots of people said lots of stuff, so I'll reply as best as I'm able.
Mr. Wild Koba said:
>my regrets for not being able to stick around on this death penalty debate.
>however, personal matters either sapped my energy or enthusiasm, or
>prevented me from being able to continue along.
Oh, that reminds me. I've never actually said 'hi' to you, although I've
been meaning to for a while. So, hi. How's it going?
Mr. Eric wrote:
>Well, this is my last post to the list for a while. I'm going to
>unsubscribe. I find that I feel obligated to reply to everything that I
>read, and I don't have enough time at this point in my life for that.
>Then,
>I feel guilty for not always replying.
Well, goodbye if that's how you feel. I personally think that skipping some
people's posts and not replying isn't a bad thing at all. It's just human
and shouldn't be considered something to feel guilty about. I generally
skip past all the boring political and technological stuff, mostly because I
can't understand it, nor am I interested in it. The McVeigh stuff was too
fun to pass up, though. Ah well. Have a nice life until you resubscribe.
Mr. Dan of Stapleton wrote:
>remember the guy who abuseed me in the shower? well, i reported him. the
>principal of my school held a meeting with him a couple of days ago, in
>which he admitted everything, and other indecencies. anyway, the principal
>told him he would have to come to another meeting the next day (i.e
>yesterday). so this guy went home and slit his throat. yes, you read that
>right.
>
>he survived, and is in hospital right now.
Fuck. Wow. I wish I had advice. I'm too sheltered to know how to deal
with this shit. Wow. So what are you going to do? Anything? I don't know
what I would do, except be very upset. Wow. You are one of the bravest
fucking people I have ever had the pleasure of corresponding with, though.
You told what he was doing and stopped him from every doing anything nasty
again at your school. I give you a psychic hi-five. Wow. Hi.
To Mr. John Kwiatkowski:
Goodbye. Hope you come back soon.
Mr. Cheefooska Juan from the magical land of mexico wrote:
>hugs and kisses to succubus barbie
>you made me smile and feel all warm fuzzy and cuddly inside
>thank you
Yay! I like inspiring cuddly fuzzy and warm feelings in people! Yr
welcome!
The wonderful DC Turner wrote (besides a song):
I am attempting to become a lyricist and I just finished my first
>song. I would greatly appreciate any feedback you all could give me.
Its a very very good song. I wish I had sweet boy to sing me that song
while presenting roses and foxgloves to me while I lounge on a pillow bed
made of silk and satin. That would be nice. Also, did you know that you
spelled 'lie' as 'lye'?
Miss Violet wrote:
>There is a quote I love that is attributed to Thomas Jefferson: "Sir,
>I will treat you as a gentleman, not because you are one, but because
>I am one." I think that's brilliant and very powerful.
I like that quote. Too bad I can't use it myself, seeing as how I'm a
duchess and not a gentleman. And I refuse to say 'gentlewoman'. I have
issues with that title.
Ms. Bethey wrote:
>If I get some decent responce and a couple of dedicated helpers, I'll give
>RAINN a buzz and get the info for a fest. If I get a semi responce (like
>10 - 20), I'd be willing to get together a backyard gathering with a pot
>luck picnic. I have a 5 acre backyard with a small farm pond on it.
Seeing as how I live 20 miles from pittsburgh, which is very far away from
the other side of pennsylvania, it would be nice if I could help but I don't
think I'll be able to. Maybe I could convince my friends to take a roadtrip
and go to this thingy. Probably not though. Stupid lack of car.
Speaking of friends, here's the reason I feel so...sober today. one of my
friend's name's Kathy. Kathy has an interesting history of promiscuous sex,
drugs, cutting herself, running away, being forced into nuthouses, etc.
She's a lot better now, but she just recently went over to Carlisle (sp?),
Pennsylvania to visit her new girlfriend Ash. She went to Carlisle and
expected to stay until the end of summer, but then she called me today from
her house and told me that she was back home. When I asked her why, she
said that Ash had become an alcoholic druggie and that she had kicked Kathy
out of her house at Carlisle and that Kathy was back home. And now Kathy is
majorly depressed. And she's considering going back to the nuthouse (her
words) because she feels she needs therapy every day. And I'm fucking proud
of her for being so rational, but I feel kind of weird also. Because, as
Violet said, the only people we can control is ourselves and I cannot live
her life for her. But dammit, I wish I could. I wish she were happy again.
I wish every were happy. I wish I were happier and not just content in my
boredom. I wish a lot of things, most of the psychological.
How Now, Brown Cow?
Megan Christine Auffart
***************************************
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!
--- Gelett Burgess (1866-1951)
***************************************
http://www.geocities.com/Delirium1479/index.html
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Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 17:10:48 -0600
From: BaBy AnGeL <arielha@juno.com>
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Subject: all things pink and fuzzy.
This is a poem I wrote when I was 13 after I escaped a rape walking home
from a friend's house. But it's mostly about these girls at school that
were making fun of me (that's who the "you" in the poem is). It doesn't
rhyme. I'm sorry but I really stink at writing poetry. I'm sure Tori
could do 1,000 times better. :-)
No
no i don't want this
no i didn't need this
no i didn't love this
i wish i hadn't felt this
i wish i hadn't seen this
touched this
heard this
pierced this
cut this
beaten this
abused this
loved this
hated this
asked for this
i wish i hadn't been a part of any of this
wasted innocence
wasted dreams
scars and blood
pain and dreams
tears and loneliness
honesty and fear
i wish i had been
bubble gum and cherries
pom poms and Sunday school
lipstick and tampons
boyfriends and crushes on cute boys
in magazines
i wish i had been you
with your ponytails and your
popular friends
Pepsi and bobby socks
plain Jane with your cunt on a shelf
selling yourself for a football
dick and a date for the prom
crying cause your clothes are out of style
worthless pathetic fears
so small
so tiny is your pain
so pointless
mascara running and broken nails
he came to me in the dimness
he tried to shove his angry dick
in a place
no stranger ever should have gone
guess it was me
oh yes it was my fault
what a wonderful man to make sure
i'm never like you
to make sure i never care if my
lipstick smears or my roots show.
i'm thanking him for
trying to rape me
even though it was pitiful
so desperate
also thanking him for not
being strong enough
so i could run away
thanks so much
now i have real scars
now i have real blood
now I'm an ocean
instead of a kiddy pool
i'll never be like you
i'll never take nude photos for a
fashion magazine
i'll never fuck a man for money
i'll never be so shallow and
pointless
i'm an angry bitch
i wanna scream
i'm pissed off because bitches
like you made my life hell
you tormented me and teased me
because i wasn't just lipstick
and pep rallies
I'm real
god dammit.
I'm real
I'm not a perfect plastic
princess with my tits in a sling
and my brains in
an empty abyss
I'm real
you can touch me
if you dare
touch me
my skin is like a razor blade
I'm real and
I'm waiting
your pussy is the only thing you have
i have a half hour of pain
but so much to give.
Ok sorry that was so depressing! I know it's not good, but it's the only
poem I've ever written in my whole life and you people seem to share
poetry quite often.
I'm not saying anything about the death penalty debate that's going on
right now because I know virtually nothing about it. I guess sometimes I
feel like people deserve it, because if they kill people, what should
happen to them? But on the other hand, it's idiotic because...well this
is hard for me to explain, but it's like trying to decrease the world's
population. If one person dies, another person dies. Oh, never mind.
Don't even bother to tell me how ineloquent that sounded because I know!
Well, I didn't mean to take up the whole digest. And I know that right
after I send this I'm going to instantly wish I hadn't. here goes.
BaByAnGeL
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Date: Fri, 22 Jun 2001 10:39:49 +1000
From: "Lavenda" <earth@comcen.com.au>
To: "Strange Little Arty Turners" <rdtrn@torithoughts.org>
Subject: I get a little warm in my heart...
Dan, I can't believe the things you have gone through. You say that this
bloke admitted other incidents to the principle, so I image there are people
out there who don't think of him as a wonderful man. And I do hope you can
tell your family about your side of things so they can help you through
this.
Megan, you do keep producing fascinating and beautiful pieces (particuarly
your latest one). Keep sending them in!
DC, of course it's hard to access a song without hearing it, and perhaps
hearing it would take away the 'corny'ness I get with some of the rhymes,
but the words cover the story well.
OK, everyone, cheer for me! I've finally got my Tori site up and running
again. Crosswinds just kafutted on me, and I spent three weeks trying to get
in to upload the damn thing. Three weeks I could've got more of it done
before this launch. Anyway, without further ado, I present 'Drifts Get
Deeper' http://www.envy.nu/drifts/start.html Hope you enjoy.
X
Lavs
(Lavenda 1, primary adjunct of dominatrix Glenn)
~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~
Who could ever say you're not simply wonderful
- 'Merman', Tori Amos
~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~
http://www.crosswinds.net/~tiarna/start.html - Tiarna's Homepage
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Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 22:24:18 -0400
From: "Kevin Roscoe" <krmalkavian@hotmail.com>
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Subject: Farewell Arevalo, Juan E. (UMC-Student)
Well, its too bad he had to go. I did send him a reply to his question and
decided to post it here as well:
"I do see killing as wrong but its a grey area, killing is wrong if you
randomly kill someone, killing a killer is something I agree with though.
As long as it goes through proper procedures and is the final result of said
procedures. Thats the difference. Remember that I believe we all have a
dark side, this is a way we can let it see some daylight without bringing it
upon someone who is undeserving. And I do think that a killer is deserving
of being the target of our darkside."
Dan:
'. please send good vibes my way.'
~~~ G~~ ~~~~~O ~~ ~~~~ ~~~~O ~~~~~ ~~~~D
:)
John Kwiatkowski:
Sorry to see you go too...
Succubus Barbie:
Fun....hhhmmm.....I just bought upgrades to my computer, Athlon 1GHz, 2 x
268 MB RAM, SB Live, Case, Floppy and Voodoo 5 for about $700, go me! Wait,
thats not very fun....um.....nope, thats my job....damnit, haven't even had
much time to go through your stuff and figure out which 3 pieces I'm going
to use..... Can I clone myself so I can get more done?
Violet:
'We absolutely do this.'
It sounds like you are talking about when there is war, and usually people
are aware that a war is happening, or about to happen, not like a death out
of the blue from a murderer. McVeighs' situation wasn't a war, it was a
criminal act like the serial murderer who killed many people of a certain
type as a statement, whatever that statement may be.
If your country goes to war, you have the knowledge that someone may kill
you, you have the choice to get out of that country and go somewhere where
there isn't one. If McVeigh bombed Iraq on orders because of a war, yay
him! If he did it for the sake of doing it, hang him!
'There are more murderers, rapists, arsonists, etc., who've never been
caught in the first place than there are people breaking out of jail.'
Maybe so, but it's still one less then before, and my money isn't going to
keep him alive. Those are my main concerns, I think there are better things
to spend money on then murderers.
'One definition of "innocent" is "free from guilt or sin especially
through lack of knowledge of evil." Another is "unaware."'
Some of the adults could be that unaware as well, I guess they are innocent?
'It's called "thinking." ;)'
Cool, I like the idea (the mark of being civilized, not the idea
smartasses!), but I'll be pondering it for years to come I think.
As for the Tori Birthday thing, anybody in Toronto interested in doing
something?
_________________________________________________________________________
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Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2001 22:26:26 -0600
From: "Doug Smeath" <heyjupiter1@hotmail.com>
Subject: I<heart>A??
So I was watching the RAINN video last night, and I noticed on Tori's
harpsicord there is a sticker that says "I<heart>A=415.???" some number...
Anyone know what that's all about? Anyone else notice it before?
Doug
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Date: Fri, 22 Jun 2001 00:01:00 -0600
From: "Doug Smeath" <heyjupiter1@hotmail.com>
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Subject: kill, kill all the criminals
I haven't been able to keep up on RDTRN at all lately, so I didn't notice
until just now that this conversation has been going on, but I have to go on
record as saying I am vehemently OPPOSED to the death penalty. I just
simply don't believe that any human being is morally or ethically entitled
or capable of deciding that another human being should die on a certian day
at a certain time. Even if Human Being A is a jury member. (Doesn't that
sound ridiculous to anyone? A group of randomly selected everyday people
can decide someone should die. Hmmm...)
Let alone the idea that the death penalty is disproportionately given to
people of color or that we can't be totally certain anyone is guilty.
Ugh.
Doug
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[top]
Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2001 01:05:59 +1000
From: "heidi maier" <maier@joynet.com.au>
To: "RDT Right Now" <rdtrn@torithoughts.org>
Subject: ot: new neil gaiman.
whilst reading salon's review of june fiction, i came across this review of
neil gaiman's new novel. i know that many of your are admirers of neil
gaiman's work and so i thought i would post it here:
<begins>
"American Gods" by Neil Gaiman
A hard-boiled fantasia by the author of "The Sandman" sends a cast of
burned-out mythological deities on a cross-country attempt at a comeback
tour.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Laura Miller
June 22, 2001 | As with most noir heroes, we meet Shadow, the protagonist of
Neil Gaiman's hard-boiled fantasia, "American Gods," after he's lost
everything. Fresh from doing three years in prison for a stupid crime, he
learns that his beloved wife, Laura, is dead, killed in a car accident with
his best friend, the guy who'd promised him a job when he got out. To make
matters worse, he has a series of unsettling encounters with a persistent
older gentleman in a pale suit. Each meeting seems to be the result of
extravagantly improbable chance, and the gentleman, who offers Shadow a job
as his bodyguard, just won't take no for an answer. "Who are you?" Shadow
asks, and the older man replies, "Let's see. Well, seeing that today
certainly is my day -- why don't you call me Wednesday?"
If you have a basic knowledge of mythology (or, for that matter, etymology,
or, really, if you just have a good dictionary) and a vague idea of what
"American Gods" is about, you can figure out this fellow's real identity
pretty easily. Shadow, however, hasn't yet realized that he's stumbled into
a kind of underground, a loosely connected network of burned-out,
down-on-their-luck deities, the remnants of every god, godling or other
supernatural being that any person who ever set foot in America has ever
believed in. Their circumstances are, to say the least, reduced: Wednesday,
who used to be a contender, ekes out a living by running cons on inattentive
clerks and bank customers, and later in his adventures Shadow will meet a
Mr. Ibis and a Mr. Jacquel, who run a shabby-genteel mortuary for "the
colored folk hereabouts" -- "hereabouts" being Cairo, Ill.
Wednesday, who finally succeeds in hiring Shadow, is traveling across the
country, enlisting his peculiar colleagues -- who include Czernobog, the
dark half of a dualistic pair of Slavic brother gods, and Mr. Nancy, the
human embodiment of a West African spider-trickster god -- in a titanic
battle. Their opponents are the "new" gods: the Technical Boy, who says
things like "[Wednesday] has been consigned to the dumpster of history while
people like me ride our limos down the superhighway of tomorrow"; a bunch of
men in black who call themselves "the Agency" but are referred to by
everyone else as "the spookshow"; a "perfectly made-up, perfectly coiffed"
newscaster goddess by the name of Media; and a never-seen contingent called
the Intangibles, who join the conflict somewhat reluctantly because they are
"pretty much in favor of letting market forces take care of it."
Shadow goes through some of the requisite hard-boiled experiences -- getting
kidnapped and beat up by the bad guys, discovering that his employer hasn't
been exactly honest with him and so on -- along with a few others that never
crop up in Chandler and Hammett. A magical coin, given to him by a drunk
claiming to be a leprechaun, a token that Shadow tosses into his wife's
grave, has the unnerving result of reanimating her, and while she's
unquestionably dead, she helps him out of a few scrapes. The characters in
TV sitcoms drop their shtick and look out of the screen to address him
directly, trying to talk him into joining the new gods. And then there are
the weird dreams Shadow keeps having about a buffalo-headed figure who
issues a series of cryptic pronouncements. But none of this is quite as
creepy as Lakeside, the small Michigan town where he holes up for a while, a
place that's just a little bit too good to be true.
With its mythological echoes, puns, in jokes and other decodable references,
"American Gods" will delight the sort of reader who likes to hunt for such
things. (Gaiman even jokes about this by including a bit about "hidden
Indians," that is, the kind of visual puzzle in which disguised figures are
worked into a drawing.) The novel also has a big theme about the nature of
America, which, most of the characters insist, is "a bad land for gods,"
supposedly because we get tired of them and they dwindle from insufficient
worship. This, it must be said, doesn't jibe with reality, and perhaps
that's because Gaiman (who wrote the seminal graphic novel "The Sandman" and
has authored several traditional novels, including the delightful
"Neverwhere," which sets uncanny doings in the London Underground) is
British. When Mr. Jacquel observes that "Jesus does pretty good over here,"
well, that's an understatement.
But the slightly off skew of its take on the U.S. doesn't really matter
much, for "American Gods" is a crackerjack suspense yarn with an ending that
both surprises and makes perfect sense, as well as many passages of heady,
imagistic writing. And for all that he's missed in the American propensity
for religious fanaticism, Gaiman has exactly nailed the way we talk; some of
the most savory characters are the minor ones, the helpful middle-aged
ladies and surly cons who regale Shadow for a moment or two before passing
out of the story, like the fellow inmate who tells Shadow: "My last
girlfriend was Greek ... The shit her family ate. You would not believe.
Like rice wrapped in leaves. Shit like that."
Speaking of Greeks, their gods never make an appearance here, though their
presence, you'd think, wouldn't be any less plausible than that of Anubis
and Thoth. Even more mystifying is the absence of the guy Mr. Jacquel calls
"one lucky son of a virgin." Somehow, the fact that we're twice told that
Shadow is 32 at the very beginning of the novel -- as well as a few things
that happen to him later on -- seems to be a reference to that conspicuous
no-show, but now I'm pointing out hidden Indians. Whatever its loftier
intentions, "American Gods" is a juicily original melding of archaic myth
with the slangy, gritty, melancholy voice of one of America's great cultural
inventions -- the hard-boiled detective; call it Wagnerian noir. The melting
pot has produced stranger cocktails, but few that are as tasty.
<ends>
heidi.
------
"i want so much to write well, though i know i don't ... but during and at
the end of my life, i will adore those who have." -- *dorothy parker*
* heidi maier - maier@joynet.com.au *
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
[top]
Date: Fri, 22 Jun 2001 15:24:21 +0000
From: Swirlgirl@att.net
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org (RDTRN)
Subject: Delurking at last
I have been in lurkerdom for awhile...Even when Violet
asked us lurkers to post, I shyed away. But now, I
dunno. It just seems like a good thing to do.
I suppose I should tell you guys who I am, eh?
I'm Erica - I'm 24, I live just outside of Madison,
Wisconsin. I've been out of college for 2+ years (I got
my B.S. in Political Science and my paralegal
certification shortly thereafter), got married to my
high school sweetheart last September -Yea for all those
who are married! (And yes, high school romances, really
can make it - although I would say going to different
colleges was a really good thing for us). No children
yet, although I'm at the point, where I am seriously
contemplating it, which scares the living daylights out
of me, but makes me excited at the same time. Such
dichotomies. I have really had issues with the last few
years of life...Why can't I just be 21 again? Life was
much more simple three little years ago.
I just quit my cushy corporate paralegal job with
nothing to really fall back on. Some, including my
parents, would say that this was a horribly
irresponsible thing to do, but I have been so miserable
for so long...I had to do something. And it wasn't an
easy decision, but I want to pursue something else. I
want to do something that matters - or at least fills me
with a sense of accomplishment. So many people
say "well, it's just a job" but really we derive a lot
of our self-worth from such things...I just want to be
happy. It really is that simple. I had an interview with
the US District Court and I am really hoping that comes
through for me (I'll know Monday). Although I worry that
if I hate the corporate life, I may hate working for the
Feds as well...we shall see, I doubt I'll even get the
position (they were flying candidates from out of state
in to interview for the job!).
Although if I don't get the job that's okay too. I might
try to do some advocacy for domestic violence or work
for a legal co-op for awhile...I want to do something I
care about. Corporate America has really sucked the life
outta me. I've seen people thrive, but it was never the
environment I wanted to work in. I made the mistake of
taking the first job I was offered. My husband has been
so supportive about all of this job insanity. I know
without a doubt I married the right guy.
But, my light in the dark is working part time at a
record store in Madison. Which I *love* it gets me free
cd's and concert tickets and fuels my passion for music.
I imagine, like most people on this list, that music is
very much a part of their soul. It is of mine and I feed
that every chance I get. In addition to Tori, I like
lots of stuff...everything from Tool to NIN to, Moby and
Ani D., to DJ/Techno/House music, but I also like jazz
and classical and stuff. I *love, love, love* live music
and go to as many shows as I can. I'm always on the
lookout for new and interesting things. I do like Dido
(a fairly unpopular thing here - but I bought No Angel
in Jan 2000 - and saw her at a small club in Chicago in
Aug 2000 before the hype). I also like Eminem - I relate
to his anger and I can feel the emotions in his
music...and that's what really does it for me, feeling
someone's passion though the music they create. I don't
necessarily like what Eminem says, but I feel the anger
and respect the place where that emotion comes from.
Seeing as anger is an emotion so deeply in-bedded in
myself. I also like the local music scene and try to
support local artists when I get the chance.
Of course, I have this major Rock Star fetish. I love
yummy boys who look like rock stars. I also get crushes
like every 15 minutes...it's a good thing I'm married.
hmmmmmm...more about me...I like to read...(another
pretty common thread on this list I think). I must
recommend the author Harlan Ellison. The man is
brilliant, I love his work. He's classified as Science
Fiction (which I always say I don't like), but he writes
with so many twists of irony and has a naughty chuckle
at society. I love authors who have a sense of humor.
I mentioned dichotomies earlier and I live with so
many...good and evil. I truly have the devil and the
angel perched on each shoulder. Most people in my
everyday life see the angel, but it's the devil that
works in quiet ways. So I feel I should apologize
already in case I have contradicted myself. I
undoubtedly will in future postings. I'm human, thus
complex, and still very much searching for my own truths.
I hate to bring up drugs in my first post, but has
anyone here tried ecstasy? I haven't (yet) - but damn, I
really want to. I've never even smoked a joint, but I
want to try E.
I do drink, not usually to excess, just enough to lose
inhibitions and get a little crazy (oh, I have
stories...maybe at a later time I shall share)I do fear
self-incrimination though. Let's just say the truth does
lie in between the first and fortieth drinks.
I'm staying out of the death penalty/McVeigh debate. I
must say that I have been very impressed with how gosh
darn articulate the posts have been! I took a
constitutional law class called "the constitutional
right to life" in which we examined the death penalty,
abortion, and assisted suicide, and the 8th amendment.
All very interesting. Consequently,I tend too look at
issues like this in a very academic light - even if I
emotionally feel differently.
Oh! To all those that post your poetry...keep doing so,
I enjoy so much of what you guys write...I wish I had
that ability. I hope nobody minds, but often pieces of
it end up in my quote book.
Rock on,
Erica
--
"You were Mr. Flirtatious all night just
working that ass, well you know it's uncool to
bring it to school if you don't want to share with
the class." -Ani Difranco
o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o o-o-o
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