RDT Right Now #1470

From: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2001 01:21:46 -0800
Subject: RDT Right Now #1470
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org

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Really Deep Thoughts Right Now			Volume 01 : Issue #1470

              .
                    o - O - O - O - O - O - O - O - o
         .       o                                     o     .
               o                                         o
              O         "Thoughts right now...            O
              o        What will become of me,            o
              o       Become of her, become of we?"       o
          .    o                                         o     .
                 O                                     O
                    O - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - O
                             o                           .
                               o
                                  o
                                      o
                                         Tori Amos, "Thoughts"
In this issue:
o-o-o-o-o-o-o

  Prisoners of Our Own Devices          [ "J. Mathers" <jmathers@westol.com> ]
  replies                               [ Annachie2@aol.com ]


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     Really Deep Quote:

                 none today

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Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2001 19:49:59 -0500
From: "J. Mathers" <jmathers@westol.com>
To: <rdtrn@torithoughts.org>
Subject: Prisoners of Our Own Devices

One of my best friends at work is Larry, our Senior Buyer.  Larry is my age
and is divorced.  Larry lives by himself and is a normal person except that
he as one obsession in life.  Tanya Tucker dominates his life.  Tanya has
been around for over 20 years and, as Tori, has a fanatic fan base.  Larry
drives probably over 5,000 miles a year going to Tanya's concerts and
attends over 20 a year.  He writes a letter to her once a week and his
office is covered with photos of Tanya and him.

Tanya has set up a whole fan network.  They have cruise ship voyages with
Tanya.  She has parties at her ranch in Nashville where several hundred of
her fans are invited.  She has a newsletter each month.  She also draws huge
crowds to her concerts, mostly her fanatic fans.  Her fans are older that
Tori's and this allows her more freedom.  Back in the LE days, Tori tried to
set up a fan club and went through great efforts to keep it going.  I have
my personally autographed 8 by 10 glossy in my home office next to the wall
poster.  As time went on, Tori got too many fans and the fan club sort of
fell apart.  Maybe some day in the future when her fans mature, we may be
seeing a more interactive Tori.  There may be picnics at her house in
Florida or England and her monthly newsletter.  Who knows, there may be a
cruise with Tori offered some day.

Fame is a strange animal.  People spend their life trying to get it and
their whole ego system is built around it.  Also, fame is a prison.  You are
a prisoner of your own devices (stealing a line from the Eagles).  I get
kind of sad when Tori talks of how she met some girls at a coffee house and
they requested a song.  This simply does not happen.  This is an option Tori
would love more than anything else but again she is a prisoner of her own
devices. Tori dare not venture out without bodyguards.  She is trapped in
the theater and this is in many ways like being in prison.

Luke Perry made an interesting comment when he first got famous.  He would
visit a mall with his guards and everyone was looking at him as if he should
know them.  As we wonder around in at the local mall we scan the faces to
see if they are someone we know.  If they are, we converse and wonder off.
With Luke, everyone knew him but it was a one way street but the fans did
not understand that.  They expected him to know them.  Tori knows more of us
that we suspect.

In one of Tanya's newsletter she had an article on fanatic fans.  Her
concern was John Hinkley who shot John Lennon.  Tanya was concerned that one
of her fans will go over the edge and do her body harm.  Her comments are as
follows:  ".we have a tendency to want our heroes to be not just what they
are on the screen, but to shape them into what we want them to be.and that's
when it gets fanatical.  Then we have "Hinkley's", and that is not a fan,
these are seriously ill folks.".  Sometimes we try to make our idols be
everything and anything we want.  They must be perfect and never make a
mistake.  They become a superhuman and this is sometimes verified by the
controlled information released by the record companies.  They are our
friends and playmates and come over for dinner.  For us to accept life we
need some ideal person above all the imperfect people around us.  Without
this, we are stuck with total reality and this can be intolerable. Tanya's
comment was that the fans could make whatever they want of her in their
fantasy world but somewhere, have some sense of reality.

If we study our history, John Lennon was presented by the record company as
accessible guy living a normal life.  In actuality John's wife isolated him
from the world in their million-dollar mansion.  John was isolated from the
world not only by his fame but also by his massive wealth and his wife.  His
wife wanted to make a paradise for him free from the entire world.  John
almost went nuts.  John just came out of his isolation when a magazine
exposed John for what he was and all of John Hinkley's illusions were
shattered and he went over the edge.

Since then, the record companies present their artist as they are, rich and
isolated.  Watch the "Entertainment Channel" and see what I mean.  Tori also
does not want any illusions. I suspect John Hinkley is at times on Tori's
mind.  Tori is not one of us.  She has her wealth and her fame and makes no
bones about it.  She is isolated from us and wants to stay that way.  She
does not want a fan living on her front lawn.  Read her interviews, she
presents herself in a very realistic way with messy rooms and guilt for not
being a full time parent.  She cannot become close to anyone except a few
close friends she can trust because of the Press.  Her vacations are in
places such as Borneo where she can be free from the prison of fame.

Do I want to be famous?  Not really, I enjoy my freedom wondering around in
public.  Is my ego satisfied?  Yes, and I am happy for what I have.  Would
you exchange places with Tori and get her glory?  I am not sure I want to be
a prisoner of my own devices or do I want the stresses.  Thank you Tori for
the entertainment, you deserve all the glory.  Do I want to be you?  No!


Have to end.    Jim Mathers  jmathers@westol.com

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Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2001 22:19:37 EST
From: Annachie2@aol.com
To: rdtrn@torithoughts.org
Subject: replies

Bonnie wrote:


>If you never go to the dentist, I bet you have gingivitis at the very
>least. ÝIf you don't have the plaque scraped off your teeth regularly,
>it's a guarantee.



Actually, no I don't. Ý


>It is rare indeed to have perfectly straight teeth without the help of
>braces. ÝI'm going to make my kiddo get braces if he/she has crooked
>teeth. ÝBetter to get it over with while they are still young.
>Everything is horrible and awkward anyway when you are that age. ÝPlus,
>some dental insurances will help pay for braces if the person is under
>18.



I guess I'm just lucky. ÝBut my teeth weren't always perfect: Ýuntil I was
about 14 I had a large gap between my two front teeth. ÝIt went away on its
own as my molars came in. ÝYet another example of why you shouldn't
automatically let a dentist "fix" something. ÝI also think it's wrong to
think that everyone should have a perfect smile. ÝThat's like saying everyone
should have a perfect nose, and if they don't they should have a nose job at
age 10. ÝDo we really want a world where everyone has to have a perfect face
or a perfect body, and if they don't we'll surgically fix it? ÝWe're almost
there already. ÝAnd I don't think insurance should pay for braces if they are
just cosmetic, no matter what your age. If you have a medical need for braces
you should get them, but if it's just cosmetic, you need to be able to both
pay for it yourself and (even if you are just a kid) be able to *decide* for
yourself. Ý

Bethany wrote "you may think that a gyno exam is a violation of your most
intimate privacy, and that's fine, but it's definitely not violent and you
definitely don't face injury or death while it's going on."

And Bonnie replied "To compare it to going to a liscensed doctor for a
healthy check-up is insulting to rape victims."Ý

Well, I certainly don't mean any insult to rape victims, but I stand by my
original statement. ÝI think that forcing someone to undergo a gynecological
examination against their will is the same as rape, and I feel that parents
who do it are in effect raping their children. ÝYou should want your teenage
daughter to feel in control of her body and her sexuality, and you are
forcibly taking that control away from her. ÝI can't imagine how that could
possibly be good for her sexual or mental health. ÝI use strong words because
I have strong feelings about the subject. Ý

More importantly, I think we agree that rape is horrible even when it isn't
violent and the victim isn't injured. ÝOf course it is worse if it is
violent, but rape is horrible simply because it is rape. ÝI'm sure you
wouldn't be unsympathetic to a rape victim just because their attacker "only"
raped them and didn't beat them up. ÝIf the rapist wears a condom to reduce
the risk of STDs or pregnancy, we don't think him any less a monster. Ý

I'm glad to see Chris posting again, but I hate that it has to be on this sad
subject.

Annachie




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ToriThoughts.Org > RDTRN > Archives > November 2001